none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
