She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
