After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
