Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
