I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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