I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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