I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
