the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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