these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Your dad touched me again.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
