the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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