Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
