He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
