Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
