operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
