Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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