i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
