She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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