Nicole vs. Life
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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