She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
