dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
