At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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