her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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