sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Randomize
