I will die if light touches me.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
it hurts more in the daytime
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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