Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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