ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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