I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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