omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
