apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
time to smoke my breakfast
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
