ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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