he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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