i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
