last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
