Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
