Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Do you still have your period?

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(773): View more from Illinois

I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.

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(224): View more from Illinois

I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?

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(540): View more from Virginia

Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.

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(708): View more from Illinois

This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.

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(619): View more from California

yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?

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(540): View more from Virginia

I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.

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