imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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