He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
