Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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