HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
