Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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