I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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