There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
