I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
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I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
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Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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