You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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