One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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