lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Im just a social blackout drinker.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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