Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Randomize
