If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
