Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
