There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
