Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
