Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
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