I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
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APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
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we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration