You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
