I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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