i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
