IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
