He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
