his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i love accidental penises.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
