There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
