I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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