I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
