matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He passed out mid-signature
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
