Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
