i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
