I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
