My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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