but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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