It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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