You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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