Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
